Page 13 - LCT December 2019
P. 13

  Hello Maxx
This is a long, long story short We dated for about four years recently I thought everything was fine honestly i was waiting to get proposed to or wanting to move in with me. He does this thing when he gets distant for like a week, then all of a sudden he's fine, and everything goes back to normal every once in a while, so I always think maybe he needs his space sometimes, which is fine I understand. Well, he started doing this, then we were supposed to go to the beach together and two days before he said he decided its better if he doesn't go with me. My son, well, I got mad and was like what is going on. You can't do this well that opened the gates apparently, and he went off about my son. He can't handle him (mind you he is five at the time we got together he was already in the picture the whole time) all of a sudden he can't handle to be around him. Then he started going off on me about when we were first together how I was still talking to my ex and hooked up with him honestly I don't remember anymore I've moved on from that point in my life I was baffled and messed up when I met him. I've admitted that I was confused, and I don't remember what happened, then he thinks I don't know on purpose as I don't want to tell him the truth. Still, I just have purposely pushed that part out of my head that I don't remember because I've changed myself from that time in my life and have grown from it now its held over my head now four years later? He gives me excuses, but I don't know if he comes up with things to get me to say okay and let him go or what's going on. He won't open up to me anymore, and he used to I don't know what to do; he now has broken up with me. Still, one week, he wants to talk to me. He seems like he wants me apart of his life the next week, he ignores me or looks like he wants nothing to do with me I'm so confused at this point, and heartbroken I've never
felt this broken about someone I don't know to cut all ties and move on or fight for what I think i want to have with him.
Dear Heartbroken,
Thank you for sharing your heart's troubles. There are so many moving parts in your situation, but at the end of the day, your child is the most important thing. At this time, you need him to give you clear and direct answers to your questions.
Why has he broken up with you?
What is his exact issue with your son? Why is he bringing up the past?
Why is he coming in and out of your life?
If those questions can't be answered, you both have no future and no relationship.
You need to set boundaries and inform him that he can't come in and out of your life and leave you in limbo. At this time, he appears no longer interested in having a relationship with you. You can't fight for a relationship that doesn't exist. It would help if you accepted what is and that he is no longer interested. Please take a step back and focus on your child. That is where all your energy needs to be at this time.
Anything else is a waste of your time. I hope this gives you clarity and starts towards closure.
Ask Maxx, Relationship Coach & Love Guru.

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