Page 12 - LCT December 2019
P. 12

 Hello Maxx
Only recently started dating a man, he was Polyamorous but has agreed to be Monogamous. At least...that’s what he has told me. There have so many green flags...but there is still this one red one!
Any advice from you is much appreciated.
Hello Monogamous, thank you for getting in touch with me. I get it; you are not 100% sure where you stand with this man and all the cautions are filling your head.
Please understand you do not have all the information, so you are not confident that he is able to be in a one to one relationship with you. It is alright to be concerned.
A person cannot go from Poly to Mono overnight, it has to be a willing choice for himself, not just you. To be Poly means extra people, it means extra experiences and this choice means evolving personally. It is not just about the sex; though you are forgiven for having trouble with that idea. There is a distinct difference between Polygamy and Swinging. This is a huge change for him, so please allow yourselves to be friends for 90 days to determine where you both are and if he really is ready to make the change for you.Work on your trust issues and give this a proper chance.
JUST ASK MAXX
THE RELATIONSHIP
GURU
Dear Maxx, I think I am in love with my boss! I am already married and so is he. There is another position open in the company and I have been offered it. Taking it will add so much to my career but it will mean no longer seeing the man I have come to love. He has asked me not to take this new opportunity and though we have not yet discussed our feelings, the attraction between us is obvious. He has tried to address our feelings with me but I was so scared I shut him down. Oh, what should I do, Maxx?
There are red flags and no green lights! You are married and so is he. You work together, he is your boss. Office romances never work, you know that. It is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. Why would you do this? Turn down something tested and true for an experience sure to end badly? What about your career? Throw away a chance to grow and gain in the company for a literal bad romance?
See what is right and wrong for you; honor your first commitment. Know happiness with your husband, feel fulfillment with your family. It is never wise to throw the baby out with the bath water or your life out for lust.
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